@You Are Not Alone - Michael Jackson

for you are not alone

for i am here with you
tough we're far apart
you are always in my heart

i can't believe that
i suddenly decided to
pump the oxygen back into
this blog.

life has been a bitch
and i have been trying to be the pimp.
guess what?

to a certain point of time in life
things happen
people come, people go
some get the apple, some get the watermelon
it sucks..so much, ain't?

but! when these things happen...
you find something amazing.

curious? i bet you are :p
what's amazing is,
you know who are your true friends.
you discover those
who have quietly been your angel,
they had all the choices;
but they still,
chose to be by your side.

sure, it hurts.
when the ones you thought they cared,
are the ones that ignore you...
especially when you...
need them the most.
irony? ironic.
but...what's more than that?

On a very very superbly fantastically random note:

this might be something utmost unappealing,
something that might make you utter "cheh",
something you look at everyday.well, this is of course,
what i look at everyday la not you.
but you have yours as well.

so the very very superbly random question is:
when was the last time you spoke to those who live beside you?
yes, your neighbor.

i spoke to mine today.
as we were talking, i realize that i...
didn't even know how she really looks like
before this. sad la.
she was giving me the "mee suah" that she hand-packed herself,
and a bottle of red wine residue...
"your mom said it tastes delicious to cook this with `ikan bilis"
`anchovies in BM.
***you know what? i never even heard this
myself from my mother***

suddenly it reminds me of how we use to write `karangan
regarding the differences between
"living in a city and in a rural area"
`kehidupan di bandar dan di kampung. bandingkan.
and so we intellectually write all the reasons
that we can think of,
that causes the city people to not know
who is living around them.
`essay
`life in the city and life in the village. compare.

should we think of a way to overcome it
instead of writing all the philosophies
and waste the trees.
when all remains as philosophies.

Again: Do you know your neighbor/s?
*i know i'm annoying, you can rant about it
in the chatterbox :)*

but first i need your hand

then forever can begin.

Malaysia...

...same age as my father wor.

51

"sorry papa,you still look very young lah."

damn cover line.hehee.

my country,today birthday.

-happy birthday to you

happy birthday to you

happy birthday to Malaysia

happy birrrrthdaaaayy toooo yoouuuu-

i know not nice.

at least i sang a birthday song

to my beloved country.

***eh, don't say i tipu okay...

i'd die for my country,

the place i come out from my mother's vagina

and grow up to where i am today
i shed my blood for the love
the tempat.the place.the memories
not for some group of people***
paham paham la okay? =)

happy birthday, Malaysia
selamat hari jadi, Malaysia
生日快乐, 马来西亚
(stupid comp cannot type chinese
i copied from yahoo one. tehee.)
can someone also fill me up with the tamil version?
hehee.
masyarakat multi-kaum =D
*i know my BM fail la*

bloated.bloated.bloated.bloated.bloated.
bloated.bloated.bloated.bloated.
bloated.bloated.bloated.
bloated.bloated.
bloated.
B.L.O.W.T.A.R.D

i can't sleep,
restless.
i can't drink,
waterfull.
i can't think,
senseless.
i can't breathe,
airstuck.
and yet i'm typing logical crap
here.
malaysia aku boleh leh.
period aku pon boleh la datang cepat.
stop making me suffer with
pms.
bitch.


HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY PEOPLE!
behave.
but have fun.
=]

the more i talk to you

the more i want to listen to you

the more i listen to you

the more i want you

the more i want you

the more i miss you

the more i miss you

the more i need you

around.

<3

can someone explain this insensible logic

to moi?

ah, nevermind =)

hantu

i'm starting to have

a hard time

differentiating

me me me me me me me me

to

a real

blood-sucker

that have not been exposed to

sunlight

and

rest.

i

fucking

need

sleep

tidur

sui jiao

see even Kevin

can make my photo

the me inside

become

HANTU.

guiiiiiiii.

ghost.

run for your life

or i will suck your blood dry.

=D.

i love you.

i miss you.

feeling empty without you.

isn't that clear?

my love.

u don't necessarily...

...need a fishing rod,

to fish.

just.ask.me.how

<3

today,

UKM...

yes

AGAIN.

walking alone by the soul-less streets

can be relaxing,

yet send the chills

down my spine.

eyes pop opened at 0515.

prepared by 0550.

drove out at 0600.

parked the car and walked to the station

0615.

i.missed.the.crazy.train.

waited till 0648.

subang jaya, setia jaya, seri setia, kg. dato harun, jln templer,

petaling, pantai dalam, angkasapuri

KL SENTRAL. 0720

kl sentral, mid valley, seputeh, salak selatan,

bdr. tasek selatan,serdang, kajang.

UKM 0810

took a cab to UKM FSSK

5 (rm)

not bad lor hor?

we were purposely troubled by the

old man in the resource centre.

he had us ran up and down,

just to get a permission he doesn't need.

***and made me saw some construction worker,

changing his pants in the public. fk the walls.***

not enough,

we were only allowed to

borrow 2 books

*as thick as my roti prata*

for 5 (rm)

for less than 2 hours.

wtf.wdf.wth.wdh.

(if not for the lecturer's recommendation,

i.would.not.wanna.step.in.there.

ever.)

we had to rush back to campus by

1230

in pee jay.

all.the.way.

like chickens only. rite jeli?

managed to reach campus by 1200.

and to the cafeteria.

here's my (our lunch)

*u can puke all u want =)*like this only, 4.80 (rm)
my lunch.

this is jeli's kampong fried rice.well at least it looked

so much better.

the, aftermath...gee, still got apetite? LOL.
from left: mini's, jeli's, jiunnie's.

i think the best part of

my lunchis this.

i'm the best.

really. =)

classes were unstoppable,

from 1230 to 1700;

plus the trip to UKM...

just.kill.me =D

zee best part of my day,

is still you.

thanks for,

lighting up...

my fishing trip.

=D

l.o.v.e

b.y

y.o.u

is the best thing that could ever happen,

to me.

pooh.

this morning.

8 a.m class.
woke up 5.50 a.m,
waited for the bus since 6.25 a.m;
it came at

7.10 a.m.

reached Asia Jaya area at

7.48 a.m.
12 more minutes to class;
***@@@***###
i.took.a.cab.
3.30 (rm)
not bad lah right?
right right???
T_T


***i nearly got hit by a car today morning.
tsk tsk tsk.
like, few inches close?
malaysian drivers...are especially dangerous.
friday morning chaos
could it be?
glad.to.be.alive.
=)


watched Kung-Fu Panda,
after class today.
pretty sure most of you have watched Po =P,
cos i was late...
for those who haven't watched...
GO.AND.WATCH.

teacher: "eh, you all watched kung fu panda d or not?"
students: "ooo, haiyoh, erm...no" *majority*
teacher: "what?!"
"YOU PEOPLE GOT NO LIFE ONE ARH?"
students: "... ... ..."

=D
studies ain't everything.

"enjoy the movie ar,

eventhough ur not watching with me."

*pengsan* =)

i hope you understand.
sorry if i said anything,
incorrectly.

mi.0v.u

mi.iSh.u

picture credits: DeviantArtSecret.

rushing and racing...

...someone
slow me down.
i.need.to.breathe.properly.

today till now,
has been a long day;
not as long but it was still hell.

had class starting at 8 a.m
woke up at 5.50 a.m
prepared, out i go...
just.to.avoid.the.freaking.traffic
JAM.
***believe me, it starts to pile up as early as
6.30 a.m!

reached campus at 7.10 a.m
well at least,
the early early bird like me;
gets to park my car...
WHEREVER i want.
teehe.
sue me lah sue me.

1st class: cognitive psychology lecture
status@@ lecturer's voice was annoying but
she did ok,
was hard to concentrate...
feel like sleeping.
***cold and comfortable***

2nd class: CMT tutorial
status@@ okay lah fun.
***growing tired liao***

3rd class: RMT1 lecture
status@@ almost brain-dead.
no one was concentrating at all,
AT ALL.

4th class: Personality tutorial
status@@ lecturer doesn't look like her biological sis
AT ALL.
***rushing, racing, running...***


we went to UKM.
once,
and twice;
no-thing.
today lecturer confirmed that there was a
MISTAKE.
*one of the officer there thought we were
the one who RUINED their stuff.*
PADAHAL WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO STEP IN THE ROOM!

ok so, this time they required a
Per-Mission Let-terrrrr.
in ONE hour,
we had to get everything done;
gather info, type, format, print, get signatures from
2 authority figures.

1st try: eh, correct ur sentence abit here and there...
~ok fine, corrected, printed...see her again~
2nd try: eh, i'm not sure whether this type of format is approved or not.
pls go and check with this this this.
~.............ccb~
like we got alot of time to waste.

lucky you had the sense to wait for us.

so...okay lah.

i start to feel like a monkey,

cos i can't sit still in a class...

my back my back.

hahahahahahahaha, bullshitty.

was so agitated.

letter error, wait; lecturer duetime 5 p.m, rush.

mom smsed,

"pls come home faster as ur sister wanna use the car"

2-3 times.

i almost told her to shut up.

me.miss.you.

me.love.you.

me.was.thinking.of.you.

throughout.the.whole.alienated.day.

how la how.

why la why.
some people can be so...
i-dunno-what-to-say.

bitch.

i believe in karma =).

we're not responsible for what you say,
we're only standing up for what we do.

every individual has the rights
to remain silent,
and

we don't have to explain ourselves.
***at least not all the time.


"psychology is psychotic, sociology is locotic, theory is bombastic,
now i am lunatic; just fantastic."
credits: Stephanie =3

it would be nice

if someone could borrow a saw

from MPSJ

and take away my back.

hahahahaha, shit.

i am lucky,

to be loved by you.

thanks for being there,

i know u'll always be.

"if really painful ah, go see doctor ah..."

if not i will come and find u.

now, how scary is that =P.

...the unproductive-ness.

i can rot here waiting for

an e-mail from a group member.

nope, can't do anything else,

except for waiting...

*i should've set the deadline earlier leh*

=P

sometimes,

dealing with someone who has

trouble with self-expression,

with the kind of attitude that makes u

wanna kick him/her in the t00t...

can be really really frustrating lah.

UKM UKM UKM

here i come!

tomorrow.

shit,

the drumroll started

for

asSignments!

psps: can someone please cover my face with a pillow

and let me

suffocate till i die?

hahahahahahahahahaha

oops.

acidic content overflowing.

feeling the gush in me.

i.miss.you.

thanking.ur.mom.for.giving.birth.to.you.

=3.

picture credits: my sister's picture file.

fill ur lungs with petrol =3

our "beloved" PM just announced...

2.70 (RM) per litre of petrol!

2.58 (RM) per litre of diesel!

effective date: 5th of June.

tomorrow lor?

go lah go.

crowd all the petrol stations in Malaysia.

bring together your father mother sister brother

aunty uncle friend cousin niece nephew husband wife

girlfriend boyfriend...

to

Shell, Esso, Caltex, Petronas, BHP, Mobil, Projet

inflation oh inflation lah inflation.

o.m.g

i nearly forgot.

i'm a driver too.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

shit.

sooner or later...

me: "papa, what do you want for your birthday present?"

papa: *doubt-less* "take my car and get me a full-tank petrol."

me: " -_- "

huhu.

a lot of butts and heads gonner go...

on fire.

eff-ed. XD.

*thinks about all the assignment questions*

somebody.please.

kill. me.

=D

new semester started,

with new life,

new friends,

new aSSignments,

new people,

new tasks,

new responsibilities...

and so on;

same OLD rules.

"if you wanna be a good counselor/psychologist...

YOU KENA JADI BUDAK BAIK."

now that's interesting.

BUDAK BAIK.

---can someone please define baik, for me---

**big juicy puppy eyes**

*screams again*

kill meh.

two, 2 apples...

one, 1 arrow...

*fishing happy*

again somebody please stab me.

tears fall when...

...there are words the heart can't say.

...there are feelings we can't put them in words.

...we are at the extreme point of any emotions.

sadness, depression, disappointment, shock, happiness, love, frustration, hopelessness,

betrayal, reminiscence...and a lot more.

...our feelings and emotions are mixed up altogether like

green tea chiller with caramel and chocolate bits added with tomatoes, oranges,

ginger, celery, chilli *gross*

...we have had enough of something.

usually too hard for us to take and shove it down our throats for instance.

***picture credits: Mark Chiew.

***a dear friend since primary school but has not been contacting each other

as often as before =P

***talented boi.

i don't know.

how about you?

=)

something random popped across my mind since recently,

it almost sounded as if...

my conscience is talking to me.

how scary is that?

"what ever you do, never complain just like you never regret.

when you complain,

it just shows how much you care;

how much you want to put yourself in that situation and do something about it,

but...

we always take complains in our own ways,

constructively or destructively."

so... ... ... if you claim you don't care, don't complain. =)

(someone quoted before: malaysians are very very good at complaining =D

whether it was a compliment or sarcasm...)

i don't know. lmao.

i myself sometimes wonder why,

i would cry;

should i say sorry?

just to ease my worry.

i love you.

miss you too =)

strawberry jam season. =D

PMS.

Pre-Menstrual Syndrome.

wtfwtfwtfwtfwtf.

today while walking around

Mid Valley Megamall

with Meerkatku <3...

"eh, omg wait."

"r u ok? what happened?"

"aiya, shit..."

"huh?"

"i feel down there wet wet one."

"errrr..."

"i think my period came."

"k, lets go toilet =.="

after coming out of the toilet...

*looks innocently at me*

"Jackpot."

"woh, really?"

"yeah. =/"

*smiles*

"why r u smiling?"

*continues smiling '-' *

why lah whyyyyyy.

to me this is more like a

post menstrual syndrome la.

i throw tantrums, i grumble more, i get angry easier, my abdomen bloated, my appetite grew freaking hell lot smaller, feel more tired, emo, frustrated...

and blood-gushing down,

welcoming the...

StrawBerry Jam Season

of every month.

this is what made women special. =D.

don't change it.

-u know what i mean, hehe-

***and men, please appreciate ur ladies for this...

u never know when this is the time...

we need a lil more love =)

why la whyyyy you smiled?

*the reason you gave me is very innocent, and childish*

-yet sweet-

very sweet.

it is...

getting clearer,

and clearer.

i love you.

thanks for every,

single thinggg.

bang bang blood blood. =(

i finished up

my last paper for the term

today. =D

ended with counseling skills.

on the way to campus today...

i witnessed a car accident.

there were already volunteers around

when i was there in the car.

car & motorcycle.

the picture is still

vividly fresh

in my brains.

sigh.

the victim was hit by a car,

laying at the side of the road...

with his head covered with blood.

hand holding on to his mobile phone...

probably trying to reach his loved ones.

heart-wrecking.

yet there was nothing much i can do.

i really hope he's okay.

*prays*

***picture credits: Nicohitoride.***

i know how it feels

to be in a self-conflicted world

where no one else seems

to understand

what say to forgive.

i love you.

go baby go! =)

finals starting... two-more-row!!

*how i wish it's really that*

so haha.

today only i went to collect,

my exam slip,

damn last minute rite?

i know.

got my student bill for the new semester too...

around 5k (RM)

its a new beginning, again =D.

yinjiun says...

good luck and

all the very best to all

who will be facing finals starting...

well, today? haha.

and i hope shit this time around

can really turn into gold =X

i love you.

wish me luck.

*yeay*

...

scream scream faint faint

aight,

finals
is coming
in less than a week's time

~sooner or later, students are gonna reach the exam papers before the teachers do.~

*waits patiently with a big grin*



and,

i still...


yes!
don't have the
"mood to study"





i don't know why but...

++i feel like i'm looking at myself in the picture++

haha, like...dead meat.
tasty tasty =)



*wonders why am i so distracted*
*hmm*


--slits wrist--
across the river instead of along the road.
<3>

eh bastard,

i miss you.

i know you're busy.

but,

i still want you around.

just so that i don't feel lonely. =D

i'm sorry,

i'm this selfish.





i love you baby.

*smiles*