@Just Dance - Lady GaGa

just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo doo mm
just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo doo mm
just dance, gonna be okay, d d d dance
dance, dance, just, j j just dance

there are so many things that i wanna do
at times, everything just appear in the mind.

if courage is what i need
i will be brave.
if will is what i need
i will be persistent.
if friendship is what i need
i will appreciate those worthy.
if family is what i need
father and mother i love you.
*i love you too, sis*
if love is what i need
i have got the best in the universe.

god, do u know at times
how much i pray to u?
can u hear? can u see? can u feel?
i believe u can.

set me free.
please.

i need many many many
much much much
a lot a lot a lot
of
courage, will, and support
to set off this decision.

as usual, the very very very superbly random note:

my momma and poppa taught me English
since I was young......but i forgot how to spell
M-A-C-A-R-O-N-I (:
so i made it into
m-a-c-o-n-o-n-i :(

then momma and poppa sent me to Italy
i learned to eat spaghetti.
instead.

i took this photo in one of the supermarket
in Puchong yesterday.
as to which supermarket...
its the one if u make him angry
he is squeeze u die
with his finger only.

cheers.

half psychotic, sick, hypnotic
got my blueprint, it's symphonic
half psychotic, sick, hypnotic
got my blueprint fantastic.

when u lose, u gain;

when you gain, u lose.

never everything.

things have been hard.

i'm really glad.

i pulled them through.

=)

i should be happy cos they made me stronger.

much much stronger.

much much much happier. =D

there are some people,

that i especially wanna thank.

acknowledgements are boring so i won't mention any names

here =P.

but those of you will know.

i promise.

1. bought 7 (yes Seven) flavors of lipbalms.

2. helping a friend promote her home-baked choc chip cookies.

3. semester break is going to be over, things seemed rather dull

but they're going good.

4. thank you to those who were there for me,

especially the meerkat and the SY.

5. i gave my sister 1 lipbalm out of the 7.

6. so i'm left with 6 of them.

7. i'm addicted to thosey (whatever the spelling is) from brickfields.

8. milo can sometimes kill.

9. i got a new purse.

10. i need more sleep...seriously.

love, i feel your presence again. *smiles*
after so long.

*****information regarding lipbalms or cookies can be obtained

from me.

i am really really really doubly triply quadraply,

happy.

i'll remember you,

baby that's forever true.

Thank you.

=3.

sometimes it is hard to...

...say i am sorry.

but still,
i am sorry.

if i have gone over the limits you've set.

and this is over =)

it is hard,
so i did it here...
and break myself free,
from all the doubts and confusion.

thank you.
loved.

tears fall when...

...there are words the heart can't say.

...there are feelings we can't put them in words.

...we are at the extreme point of any emotions.

sadness, depression, disappointment, shock, happiness, love, frustration, hopelessness,

betrayal, reminiscence...and a lot more.

...our feelings and emotions are mixed up altogether like

green tea chiller with caramel and chocolate bits added with tomatoes, oranges,

ginger, celery, chilli *gross*

...we have had enough of something.

usually too hard for us to take and shove it down our throats for instance.

***picture credits: Mark Chiew.

***a dear friend since primary school but has not been contacting each other

as often as before =P

***talented boi.

i don't know.

how about you?

=)

something random popped across my mind since recently,

it almost sounded as if...

my conscience is talking to me.

how scary is that?

"what ever you do, never complain just like you never regret.

when you complain,

it just shows how much you care;

how much you want to put yourself in that situation and do something about it,

but...

we always take complains in our own ways,

constructively or destructively."

so... ... ... if you claim you don't care, don't complain. =)

(someone quoted before: malaysians are very very good at complaining =D

whether it was a compliment or sarcasm...)

i don't know. lmao.

i myself sometimes wonder why,

i would cry;

should i say sorry?

just to ease my worry.

i love you.

miss you too =)

scream scream faint faint

aight,

finals
is coming
in less than a week's time

~sooner or later, students are gonna reach the exam papers before the teachers do.~

*waits patiently with a big grin*



and,

i still...


yes!
don't have the
"mood to study"





i don't know why but...

++i feel like i'm looking at myself in the picture++

haha, like...dead meat.
tasty tasty =)



*wonders why am i so distracted*
*hmm*


--slits wrist--
across the river instead of along the road.
<3>

eh bastard,

i miss you.

i know you're busy.

but,

i still want you around.

just so that i don't feel lonely. =D

i'm sorry,

i'm this selfish.





i love you baby.

*smiles*

broken-hearted-ness.

today,

i saw something that

broke.my.heart.

imagine this

lying motionless on the road
bleeding so badly

without its head?

i am still wondering why couldn't i see the head anywhere.

perhaps its because this happened too many times before

some might claim that this is normal,

as in it is usual? or a natural phenomena?

some say that they're used to it,

are they numb or heart-less?

some stated that: its not like we can do anything,

but i'm sure we can do SOMEthing?

i don't know about you all out there but,

no matter how many times;

i come across this,

it still wrecks my heart.

killing a kitten,

is like killing a baby.

no matter unintentionally or purposely,

it is still a life.

this is not only for kittens,

also for puppies, squirrels, everything

call me stupid,

and i'll shut u up =).

oh oh ohhhhh, and! THIS just made things worse...ever heard of Bonsai Kittens?

although it has been claimed as an internet hoax,

i still think the idea is stupid,

yeah you heard me,

s-t-u-p-i-d.

its just like, macam...
Tobby,Calice & Alley Cat: What?! We don't wanna stay in a bottle!

Idiots: You know what? I think you should.

Tobby, Calice & Alley Cat: But why?! We just wanna live, like you!

Idiots: Cos you know, *fakes a smile* we think you look cuter in a bottle.

Tobby, Calice & Alley Cat: ... ... ...we just wanna live, like u. so please look out for us

we know u can, we believe in u =).

last but not least,i'd like to remind readers that,

this post is not created to cause any intended spur,

or to offend anyone by purpose;

its just what i think and feel,

about this.

*the story originals: i saw a dead kitten when i was driving home from campus this morning, and i believe the accident was quite new...the head of the kitten was gone, no where near the body.

thanks! =)

hearts.

love,

can sometimes be lonely.

love,

can sometimes be possesive.

love,

can sometimes make you cry.

love,

can be addictive.

love can be everything,

when there is nothing.

love can be caring,

when everyone left.

love can be interesting,

when boredom is suicidal.

love can be perfection,

when everything else is going wrong.

not everything about love is good,

yet we get so addicted.

we indulge in almost anything it has to offer,

and risk losing what we are.

love is a game with no rules,

therefore no one really wins in this game,

although it has a lot of players,

even more than football fans.

to me, love is to see imperfection

as spaces of improvement,

to see anger

as a source of motivation,

to see lonliness,

as time we've got to miss each other

to see your partner,

with you as one.

time approve of love,

as how it proves love.

love is full of uncertainty.

yet,

i am certain that...

i love you.

check check.

fuck off and die.

fuck-ed off and dead,
at the least;
my heart and feelings,
both IS.
...

assignments, checked.

presentation, just checked.

final examination, not checked. =(

semester holidays, hell yeah checked. =D

experience quadrapled.

lessons learned.

heart burned.

i'm still ok.

*just continue smiling*

and i promise,

i will always be there.

...
but,

yes.
i will always,
pull through...
whatever wounds you've left me with.
i still am who i am,
and i still have what i own.

i hate to do this,
anyways...
i don't care

i will live. hahahahaha.

and i'm done for today =]

i wish i have...

a TIME MACHINE. bullshit. haha.shut up. i know you'd want one too. =)

so these days i've been thinking a LOT about the past.

fond memories

unpleasant events

indifferent moments

fun/interesting times

weird phenomenas

but i can't think of what to fit in those categories though... too many. perhaps to know how to put it in words is an art, and......i have not mastered it yet. wish i could put everything in words so shit would turn gold at times =D

today i woke up

i bathed, put myself in a very descent black

blouse and dress

with a simple make-up of my droopy face

paired with a pair of black, elegant heels

just to know that our presentation has been

CANCELLED

in the last minute.

geram right? i'm gonna say

It is okay =)

closest yet most distanced.

...and the other wise. have u ever wondered how it actually make sense? i'm pretty sure almost everyone has felt like this before, the feeling of something amiss, with a little sense of lost and regret.

yesterday i was at the wedding dinner of my only godbrother, somewhere in a hotel in KL, its called Federal Hotel if i've not mistaken. i use to call him *stanley kor-kor* when i was still a kid at one point of time we were very close and he cares for me a lot. how i became his godsis? his mother was once my caregiver and she would love love love to have daughters as my godbro was her only child, only son. so both my parents agreed for me to refer her as my godmother.

throughout the dinner yesterday, i tried to recall things and events and stuff that occurred between both of us and the family...and i just realised that the memories are fading...and no that's not me and him (remembering the fact that we didn't have any photos together) as the memories are walking away i realise that he was one of the closest person to be that became the furthest one to be now. sad rite? that was my sense of loss.

i don't think we're counted as growing up together, its more like i grew up with him around...*until now i still have a really really ambiguous idea of his age* i remembered he went to London to further his studies in Oxford university, without saying goodbye and i was angry at him yet i kept asking my godmom when is he coming back...

the time he came back was the time we started to drift apart, as he gains more responsibility at work as an admin exec...we have literally never actually talk since, as everytime i visit the house, he was never in. since then, he became a stranger to me.

as i left their house at the age of 7 (i think) i was too, concentrating on the new life and pathway ahead of me in primary school, high school and now university. where i made new friends, and have new aspects of life to live with...that he, slipped off my mind. *i'm a lousy godsis i know* once in a while when i'm alone, i'd wonder how is he doing, and if he still remembers me.

the next time i hear about him from my godmom, is his marriage. i was stunned, literally. i dont know why. "he's marrying?" was what i could utter at that moment, in my mind i thought, my godbro is marrying. and i was invited to his wedding dinner. it was a grand one, they had so many creative ideas, and i find that he really adores his lady.

we couldn't talk much cos they were busy. lastly i just wanna say, he came across to me as a person who is patient (he never gets angry at me whenever i'm fooling around with him), respectful (especially to my godparents), and tidy (his room is always neat, although he had so many stuff). perhaps one of the thing that i should do when i missed out was getting to know my godbrother in person, better.

do u have anyone in ur life that u've actually missed knowing? that when u see them again that's when u realise things have changed? and the sight of them infront of u just landed u in the land of lost words?

closest at one point, most distanced at the other.

have this ever come across ur mind that it can happen to anyone that is closest to u?

appreciate them before u regret. its all i can say.

a hearty congratulations, to a

...
couple,

Stanley Lee & Joey Liew

may the life ahead both of u,

be blessed with happiness,

and love.

i'll try to search for a photo of him, if i've got any

and i'll update this post with em.

so keep this close to u =).

something i might regret.

finally things have slowed down for me to catch a breath. lately it has been really busy, is it me or am i living in the future?

28th of Feb was a long day starting from 11.30am with only 30 minutes break till 5pm, all of us was rushing to complete the assignment and then study for exam where i almost haven't had enough time to SLEEP.

29th was my birthday, yes i have only celebrated 5 birthdays in 20 years and by all of us are 80...i'd still be at my 20's hahahahahahaha. okay, with 28th ended up in a mess, on this day i had to freaking wake up at 6am and get my a** off driving to college. the traffic on federal highway was reaaaaaally slow by 6.30am - 6.45am......what are u people, bats?! i almost fell asleep with my head still looking at the lecturer at 8.

i'm supposed to meet up with someone at 10am. i screwed up. i think, 50/50. parents came at 10.15 sharp as i've mentioned, and i chose to go with them. i figured there were some discrepancies somewhere somehow, i was standing outside the cafe for 30minutes and i didn't see him at all. i threw my phone back into the bag cos i was panicking, and only realized the messages on the way to MV.

so......arrived in MV and i was the 30th person to arrive. GEOX had this thing of giving out shoes up to rm899 to leap year babies but only limited to the first 29 comers.........30th was me. its because they have 2 outlets, one in MV another in Pavillion, it was a tough decision to decide rushing to Pav cos the area was badly jammed.

we went there anyways, and turned out to be the 18th person to be there. they let me choose any shoes from the store and they had me try for the size *how nice* so in the end i got a pair of shoes worth rm499.90 for FOC. *oh btw i couldn't find any shoes more than the price of rm699 there HAHA CHEATERS* anyways i'm still happy. haha. tooties.

during lunch, jelly called me saying that they're facing troubles with the assignment and they can't finish it if i'm not there by 3.30pm. managed to get myself there at 3 something and i drove her to find a cyber cafe just because the requirement stated that they need some kinda paper-that-will-make-ur-ass-bleed-if-u-wipe-it-after-u-poo...and believe me or not there are NO cyber cafes in the area that provide that freaking paper unless we're willing to pay at least RM25 for that 50 pages. omg? forget it i'm just gonna print em for rm2 in the college. stupid. lol.

finished everything and manage to get home by 6pm with the traffic along federal highway after working hours. freaks. rested for barely 2 hours and i had to prepare to go out meeting my friends. which turned out pretty good, i miss em. i really wish that i had more time for them. i will. i promise. =D

got home by 12am...blow candles and i went.......d.e.a.d. tired. until even my breath was heavy. i thought i'd die of suffocation. haha.

i realized where i went wrong
sorry that i didn't have the guts to make changes
i had to follow along cos there were hearts that i don't wanna break
i had to break urs and mine, as well.
believe it or not, accept it or not
i'm sorry, that's all i can do
if u'd allow me to.

there was never wrong or right,
only yes or no.
i just learned.

perhaps it is the best for things to stay the way it was meant to be. =)