on a random note...

...baby,

i love you.

sometimes life can really really suck.

but, its gonna be fine.

sometimes people can go really really bitchy.

but, they care.

sometimes it sucks just to be me,

but, i am unique.

busy, bitchy, frustrating, annoying, irritating, saddening, angry, mad, crazy, offended, tired, sick, ill, revolting, disgusting, pain in the ass, cry baby, dreadful, jackass, lazy, etc.........

awww, it is okay =)

i love mickey.

mic-key-mouse.

i wish i have...

a TIME MACHINE. bullshit. haha.shut up. i know you'd want one too. =)

so these days i've been thinking a LOT about the past.

fond memories

unpleasant events

indifferent moments

fun/interesting times

weird phenomenas

but i can't think of what to fit in those categories though... too many. perhaps to know how to put it in words is an art, and......i have not mastered it yet. wish i could put everything in words so shit would turn gold at times =D

today i woke up

i bathed, put myself in a very descent black

blouse and dress

with a simple make-up of my droopy face

paired with a pair of black, elegant heels

just to know that our presentation has been

CANCELLED

in the last minute.

geram right? i'm gonna say

It is okay =)

closest yet most distanced.

...and the other wise. have u ever wondered how it actually make sense? i'm pretty sure almost everyone has felt like this before, the feeling of something amiss, with a little sense of lost and regret.

yesterday i was at the wedding dinner of my only godbrother, somewhere in a hotel in KL, its called Federal Hotel if i've not mistaken. i use to call him *stanley kor-kor* when i was still a kid at one point of time we were very close and he cares for me a lot. how i became his godsis? his mother was once my caregiver and she would love love love to have daughters as my godbro was her only child, only son. so both my parents agreed for me to refer her as my godmother.

throughout the dinner yesterday, i tried to recall things and events and stuff that occurred between both of us and the family...and i just realised that the memories are fading...and no that's not me and him (remembering the fact that we didn't have any photos together) as the memories are walking away i realise that he was one of the closest person to be that became the furthest one to be now. sad rite? that was my sense of loss.

i don't think we're counted as growing up together, its more like i grew up with him around...*until now i still have a really really ambiguous idea of his age* i remembered he went to London to further his studies in Oxford university, without saying goodbye and i was angry at him yet i kept asking my godmom when is he coming back...

the time he came back was the time we started to drift apart, as he gains more responsibility at work as an admin exec...we have literally never actually talk since, as everytime i visit the house, he was never in. since then, he became a stranger to me.

as i left their house at the age of 7 (i think) i was too, concentrating on the new life and pathway ahead of me in primary school, high school and now university. where i made new friends, and have new aspects of life to live with...that he, slipped off my mind. *i'm a lousy godsis i know* once in a while when i'm alone, i'd wonder how is he doing, and if he still remembers me.

the next time i hear about him from my godmom, is his marriage. i was stunned, literally. i dont know why. "he's marrying?" was what i could utter at that moment, in my mind i thought, my godbro is marrying. and i was invited to his wedding dinner. it was a grand one, they had so many creative ideas, and i find that he really adores his lady.

we couldn't talk much cos they were busy. lastly i just wanna say, he came across to me as a person who is patient (he never gets angry at me whenever i'm fooling around with him), respectful (especially to my godparents), and tidy (his room is always neat, although he had so many stuff). perhaps one of the thing that i should do when i missed out was getting to know my godbrother in person, better.

do u have anyone in ur life that u've actually missed knowing? that when u see them again that's when u realise things have changed? and the sight of them infront of u just landed u in the land of lost words?

closest at one point, most distanced at the other.

have this ever come across ur mind that it can happen to anyone that is closest to u?

appreciate them before u regret. its all i can say.

a hearty congratulations, to a

...
couple,

Stanley Lee & Joey Liew

may the life ahead both of u,

be blessed with happiness,

and love.

i'll try to search for a photo of him, if i've got any

and i'll update this post with em.

so keep this close to u =).

venus is smiling sweeter than ever.

today the 8th of March, is International Women's Day (IWD) that has been carefully observed since in the beginning of 1900's, it is an important day of world-wide celebrations for the political, economic and social achievement of women.
as time goes by, now in the modern societies...this day remains as a public holiday in a lot of countries like: Albania, Armenia, Bosnia, China, Italy, Cuba and more that men show gratitude to the women in their lives: mother, girlfriends, wives, colleagues and more through a variety of methods.

the official colors for the IWD is green, white, and purple each signifies hope and new life, purity (public/private), justice@dignity@self-reverence@self-respect@women's vote. recently a new color has been added, which is gold that represents a new dawn, the second wave of feminism.


for more information on this IWD, can refer to these two sources: Wikipedia-International Women's Day and this official webbie of the IWD as below

happy international women's day to all the
mothers, wives, girlfriends, daughters, women-to-be
whoever you are
as long as you are women
or you count yourself as one
happy IWD =)

and all the guys, remember to appreciate them.
women that are significant in your life,
nothing hurts more than your ignorance.

take care.

midnight oil is bad for health.

its 0234 now and my god i'm still awake, are u there? why u make our assignments so LECEH ah? added with two blurr one-looks-like-chicken and another-i-think-looks-like-a...bear guy who slacks around taking nothing in seriously and they just freaking-want-their-names-on-our...OUR work! *raaawwwrrr* nevermind, we'll make sure they do not exist in the next next next next next assignments......f.o.r.e.v.e.r

ok, i'm telling the truth, i'm still up for assignments.i'm stressed.i have not return jelly's notebook, for lord's sakes its taking me a long time to copy and i just hope her lava is still intact, i'm still too young to die. tooties. =)

i think that's it, and i found something interesting. here it goes. stressed become desserts!

oh yes how interesting is that
how come i didn't notice? did u all?
for all i know stress is definitely not a dessert, its a silent killer.
*creeps*

every girls are born bitches.

guys bring bitches out of girls,
they make things happen.
and...and...and every bitch belongs to a BASTARD.

=)

so...so...soooo cheers. gotta chow. take care all.

something i might regret.

finally things have slowed down for me to catch a breath. lately it has been really busy, is it me or am i living in the future?

28th of Feb was a long day starting from 11.30am with only 30 minutes break till 5pm, all of us was rushing to complete the assignment and then study for exam where i almost haven't had enough time to SLEEP.

29th was my birthday, yes i have only celebrated 5 birthdays in 20 years and by all of us are 80...i'd still be at my 20's hahahahahahaha. okay, with 28th ended up in a mess, on this day i had to freaking wake up at 6am and get my a** off driving to college. the traffic on federal highway was reaaaaaally slow by 6.30am - 6.45am......what are u people, bats?! i almost fell asleep with my head still looking at the lecturer at 8.

i'm supposed to meet up with someone at 10am. i screwed up. i think, 50/50. parents came at 10.15 sharp as i've mentioned, and i chose to go with them. i figured there were some discrepancies somewhere somehow, i was standing outside the cafe for 30minutes and i didn't see him at all. i threw my phone back into the bag cos i was panicking, and only realized the messages on the way to MV.

so......arrived in MV and i was the 30th person to arrive. GEOX had this thing of giving out shoes up to rm899 to leap year babies but only limited to the first 29 comers.........30th was me. its because they have 2 outlets, one in MV another in Pavillion, it was a tough decision to decide rushing to Pav cos the area was badly jammed.

we went there anyways, and turned out to be the 18th person to be there. they let me choose any shoes from the store and they had me try for the size *how nice* so in the end i got a pair of shoes worth rm499.90 for FOC. *oh btw i couldn't find any shoes more than the price of rm699 there HAHA CHEATERS* anyways i'm still happy. haha. tooties.

during lunch, jelly called me saying that they're facing troubles with the assignment and they can't finish it if i'm not there by 3.30pm. managed to get myself there at 3 something and i drove her to find a cyber cafe just because the requirement stated that they need some kinda paper-that-will-make-ur-ass-bleed-if-u-wipe-it-after-u-poo...and believe me or not there are NO cyber cafes in the area that provide that freaking paper unless we're willing to pay at least RM25 for that 50 pages. omg? forget it i'm just gonna print em for rm2 in the college. stupid. lol.

finished everything and manage to get home by 6pm with the traffic along federal highway after working hours. freaks. rested for barely 2 hours and i had to prepare to go out meeting my friends. which turned out pretty good, i miss em. i really wish that i had more time for them. i will. i promise. =D

got home by 12am...blow candles and i went.......d.e.a.d. tired. until even my breath was heavy. i thought i'd die of suffocation. haha.

i realized where i went wrong
sorry that i didn't have the guts to make changes
i had to follow along cos there were hearts that i don't wanna break
i had to break urs and mine, as well.
believe it or not, accept it or not
i'm sorry, that's all i can do
if u'd allow me to.

there was never wrong or right,
only yes or no.
i just learned.

perhaps it is the best for things to stay the way it was meant to be. =)

changing my wardrobe.

i just changed the skin of my blog and i think i'm changing the momentum of the content toward a personal blog.

don't ask why. i just felt i wasn't me all along and i wanna be me. =) that feels better.