@You Are Not Alone - Michael Jackson

for you are not alone

for i am here with you
tough we're far apart
you are always in my heart

i can't believe that
i suddenly decided to
pump the oxygen back into
this blog.

life has been a bitch
and i have been trying to be the pimp.
guess what?

to a certain point of time in life
things happen
people come, people go
some get the apple, some get the watermelon
it sucks..so much, ain't?

but! when these things happen...
you find something amazing.

curious? i bet you are :p
what's amazing is,
you know who are your true friends.
you discover those
who have quietly been your angel,
they had all the choices;
but they still,
chose to be by your side.

sure, it hurts.
when the ones you thought they cared,
are the ones that ignore you...
especially when you...
need them the most.
irony? ironic.
but...what's more than that?

On a very very superbly fantastically random note:

this might be something utmost unappealing,
something that might make you utter "cheh",
something you look at everyday.well, this is of course,
what i look at everyday la not you.
but you have yours as well.

so the very very superbly random question is:
when was the last time you spoke to those who live beside you?
yes, your neighbor.

i spoke to mine today.
as we were talking, i realize that i...
didn't even know how she really looks like
before this. sad la.
she was giving me the "mee suah" that she hand-packed herself,
and a bottle of red wine residue...
"your mom said it tastes delicious to cook this with `ikan bilis"
`anchovies in BM.
***you know what? i never even heard this
myself from my mother***

suddenly it reminds me of how we use to write `karangan
regarding the differences between
"living in a city and in a rural area"
`kehidupan di bandar dan di kampung. bandingkan.
and so we intellectually write all the reasons
that we can think of,
that causes the city people to not know
who is living around them.
`essay
`life in the city and life in the village. compare.

should we think of a way to overcome it
instead of writing all the philosophies
and waste the trees.
when all remains as philosophies.

Again: Do you know your neighbor/s?
*i know i'm annoying, you can rant about it
in the chatterbox :)*

but first i need your hand

then forever can begin.

@Terlalu Istimewa - Adibah Noor

kau terlalu istimewa

kasih dan sayangmu terpancar

seikhlas tiada batasan, terus membara

it has been awhile.

things are getting hectic

in this short semester.

plus the laziness

*long post ahead* akibatnya.

its a confession.

life has been so-so

last saturday, 1st day of the month

i went back to Malacca specifically Taboh Naning

confess: 50% by force, 50% by will

but i drove. for the first time ever

to another state. *breathes in*

it was for a traditional chinese practise

specially for the Hokkiens

called "Kong Tek" or

Gong De in mandarin

there was not much general information about it

but it is a ceremony conducted on the

benefits of the deceased

to help them get ready for the next phase of life.

the ideal case is that the deceased

passed away in peace.

we were there early(before 0900)

wait, it was the monks that were late

by a freaking 6-7 hours.

i could have attended my replacement class *whines*

so anyways, we went for brunch and

look what we found"One YeeMee PotClay and One SoyaBIN please."

came back to the hall and waited

by folding the silver and gold paper...

in our case, this ritual was done for

my paternal grandfather and paternal 4th uncle

earlier it was being told that the ideal situation is

going-in-peace.

both of them passed away one

in an accident, another was gunned-down

so there was bloodshed.

i shall let the pictures do the better

job of explanation... Photo1: overview of the paper house

Photo2: close-up on paper house

Photo3: paper house and altar

*chairs are for the deceased*

Photo4: main altar

*for summoning the spirits of the deceased*

Photo5: another altar facing another direction.
*also for summoning the spirits*

Photo6: Hell's Sea of Blood

*it was said that those who died in bloodshed

would be trapped under the sea

preventing rebirth.*

Photo7: Hell's Sea of Blood with it's accessories

*the Sea has 5 levels, and it can be rotated

to help the deceased spirits come out

from the sea and gain rebirth - see the ladder?*

Photo8: For uncle, and For grandpa

*us the living were asked to rotate the sea

for as long as possible to make sure that

the spirit is released, strictly not allowed

for ladies who are having period.*

the descendants of the deceased

were in white(sons and siblings)

and blue(grandchildren)

with black long pants.

it was worth it

a ceremony for the deceased

a gathering for the living ones

a bond-strengthening for the youths.

the ritual is rare

as it comes in costly

this one could easily cost about 20,000(RM)

rest in peace

grandpa and uncle.

tak tertanggung rindu

mendengar suaramu

tawa mengusik jiwa

@ Anywhere - Evanescence

by the morning light

we'll be half way to anywhere

where love is more than just your name

semester holiday was over since

the beginning of the week

it felt so long yet

so swift.

probably because i spent 3/4 of my holidays

working my ass off.

the new semester bring

some sort of new hope

Mr. Marzuki as by English Language for Social Science lecturer

Mr. Yusof as my

Statistical Techniques in Behavioral Science lecturer

*gile panjang*

and Mr. Muthualagan

as my Pendidikan Moral lecturer

with 3 freaking hours per lecture.

i made some cupcakes

together with Kylie

yesterday.

***i used cake mix, nuff said.

LOL***

-behind the box there are instructions

just follow them closely,

and cut down the baking time to 30-35 mins

instead of 40-50

cos we thought its too hard-

***zee batter***

***zee mould tray***

***fill the batter into the moulds***

***in the process***

***results***

its our first time lah.

not bad leh...

just a little too sweet.

~eyer what are those...

can be eaten one or not?~

i hope everything

will be fine soon.

unlock your heart,
drop your guard.
i love you.

@ What About Now? - Chris Daughtry.

baby, before its too late...what about now?

It was raining heavily.

It was almost 9 in the night.
he came home exhausted from a long day's work in the office,
the day was frustrating...

because the routine was as heavy as it was,
added with the boss's demands that sound like they need forever.

Almost drenched...after the hell he just went through

in the traffic congestion on the way home,
he stepped into the house..

wishing that there would be someone to ask him how's his day..
hoping that he'll get to hug her,

with a voice telling him softly to his ears that everything's alright..

familiar and reassuring,
looking forward to a dinner with her to tell her about his day..

But,
the house was empty.
he could even hear his own breathing,
he looked around again...there was no one,
she was not there.

Just as he settled down after a warm bath...

he realised the sky was still pouring.
"Tonight's gonna be cold." he whispered to himself.
"Even colder without her." he thought.

Sighing, he sat down on the sofa...thinking about her.
The times both spend together along the beach,
the moment where both teased each other before going to bed,
the weekends he'd spend all day with her just looking at her face,
looking into her eyes...

he just love listening to her.
every single piece of memory seems to be flooding back.
as vividly as they just happened a few days ago...

The moment he realised that he had dozed off,
he was awaken by knockings on his door...

he checked the clock on the wall,
it was already 11. "wow."
as he dragged himself approaching the door...

wondering.
He opened it carefully,

trying to catch a glimpse of the person...

=)

it has been 7 years since.

nine-eleven.

*a moment of silence*

what about now?

what about today?

@ Inconsolable - Backstreet Boys.

how i wish i could find the words to say.

finals are
here and on-going.

applied psychology

counseling skills & techniques I

research methods in behavioral science

cognitive psychology

personality

last day: 20th of September.

why la why?

should i cry?

no, i should be studying.

anyways,

happy birthday!

to all september budaks.

kevin, jesse, adrian, yin wey, my mother

qemmal (blogger), li yan, jasmin (sis' friend),

gillian (rach's sis), atiqah, xiao toong, marc,

shaun ellis, kit yee.

left out anyone? nudge me. =D

Ahmad should be arrested under ISA.

Badawi and Najib should stop being his parents.

your son is grown

with the ability to reproduce

already lah woi.

oh no...grandfather?

hee.

it makes me sick.

it makes me weak.

my heart wants to break.

afterall i might be a freak.

feelings are at leak,

climbing to the very peak.

-and remains-

loveS You.